nice: /nīs/: 1. no integrity or congruence expressed or 2. not into communicating emotion
Nice Guys come to their indirect and co dependent needy behavior honestly through training by their parents in childhood in an effort to get their needs met. Yet being nice isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Nice Guys tend to:
Create covert contracts by giving in order to receive
Hide their flaws and mistakes in an effort to feel lovable
Communicate passive aggresively
Deny their true feelings and avoid conflict so never come to resolution with issues in their relationships
There is a steep price Nice Guys pay for the deal they made when they were younger. As a result of their behaviors they suffer from:
A lack of trust in their relationships because they tell lies both big and small to keep people from being angry or disappointed with them
Not feeling good enough because they hide who they really are due to a deep seated belief that they won’t be loved for themselves
Feeling they have to be perfectionists to be loved, and never believing they’re good enough
Being disconnected from their disowned power
Suffer from a lack of fulfillment because they constantly put others needs before their own, have a hard time saying “NO”
They fail to achieve to their full capabilities in their careers due to a lack of self confidence and a deep seated and erroneous belief that they will fail
Feeling disconnected from their deepest sense of purpose
Build resentment in their most important relationships because they don’t communicate their feelings, are cut off from their anger, and prevent healthy resolution through engaging in positive conflict (a concept that’s nearly completely foreign to nice guys) in their lives